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7 Female Behaviors That Baffle Men (Explained!)
By Christina H August 02, 2011
In a previous article, I talked about some of the big questions men ask about women, about relationships and communication and all that boring stuff. But in focusing on the serious man/woman issues of our time, I missed out on other less dramatic, yet equally pressing issues, like why girls go to the bathroom together.
Well, here it is. I hope you're happy.
Why Do Women Go to the Bathroom In Groups?
A lot of men seem to think there is a kind of secret, like the women have some kind of coordinated plan or traditional ritual, when it's really a case of everything looking mysterious when you're not in on it.
A lot of the time it's as simple as trying to find an appropriate break in the conversation. When we watch TV, we all wait for commercial breaks to go to the bathroom, so we won't miss anything. In a dinner conversation, there aren't any designated "commercial breaks," but if half the group is taking off, chances are the other half will save their good stories and such until they get back.
In addition, when it comes to ladies on double dates or in large prom groups, they might see going to the restroom as a good time to catch up with each other and how they think their dates are going. Maybe say what they think of each other's dates. Just like men enjoy the play-by-play in sports, ladies enjoy a play-by-play on dates, but it's very rude to do it right in front of the guy.
Why Are Women's Public Restrooms so Gross?
Women are traditionally brought up to hate dirt and germs. The thing about this upbringing is that it's kind of intended to encourage women to clean, since in the past, that was a woman's job. If you instill fear and hatred of filth in a woman, the thought went, she would get upset about dirty counters long before her man would, and automatically clean it up before he had to give the order.
As we all know, fear triggers a "fight or flight" response, equipping you to either fight the danger, or flee it. If a classically-raised woman runs into a nasty poo-encrusted toilet, she suddenly gets the visceral urge to either clean it or run away. If it's in her own house, she's got no choice but to clean it, at least eventually (or ask someone else to). If it's in McDonald's, she will pee hovering over the seat with her breath held, fling her toilet tissue in the general direction of the toilet and run like the wind.
Why Do Girls Take so Long to Get Ready?
Again, there's probably a bunch of things that cause this. Some girls probably actually do want to make a man wait in order to play hard-to-get. A more innocent answer could be that she's trying on clothes. As you probably know, women usually like to wear new outfits to special events. While most women aren't wasteful enough to buy a new dress every time, she's probably going to want to combine the dress with a different pair of shoes or a different shawl. So she's got a really awesome new outfit combo planned for the big day.
The downside of a new and exciting outfit is that it's an untested outfit, which means that even though those boots theoretically should have gone with that skirt for a smart, modern combo, once you put it on, apparently you look like a goth. It's bizarre.
Then you swear and start grabbing other pieces that you think will fix this, which as you can imagine, consumes a lot of time, since a lot of nice going-out clothes are both flimsy and tight, so getting in and out without tearing them is an ordeal.
Obviously, the logical solution is to test the outfit ahead of time, which some women do. However, women, like all human beings, procrastinate, so this happens about as often as anyone actually studying for a test early or doing their homework before the last minute.
Why Are Women's Fashions so Complicated?
In general, men's fashions go along a one dimensional axis from casual to formal, like so:
And men just pick where on the line they need to be, depending on the situation. Sure, there are a lot of different styles (preppy, yuppie, Guido, skater, hipster, etc.), but most guys usually just go with one style, and move along a single axis in that style.
Women's fashions have multiple axes. For example in addition to casual and formal, there's also slutty and dowdy, like so:
And there's more than just those two axes. There's also a seasonal one, which I don't completely understand, but apparently a white purse is a summer purse and you're supposed to swap to a black one in the winter or something, or so I have gathered from my female friends. The more fashionable you are, the more axes you have and that's why a simple decision like what to wear today can get so complicated for her.
Why Do Women Smell Nice?
A lot of guys think women try to smell nice on purpose, using perfume or other scents. But only 36 percent of women wear perfume on a regular basis. Since men seem to feel that more than 36 percent of women smell nice, another possibility is shampoo. Most men don't think of shampoo as a smell that lingers, since their hair is usually short. Women, who tend to have longer hair, basically have a bigger head-sponge to retain shampoo smell.
And finally, apparently guys would think women smelled nice even if they weren't using any product at all, due to pheromones or something. This was demonstrated in an experiment where men got to sniff clothes women had worn and could pass it off as doing their part for science.
Why Do Women Have so Many Shoes?
If you want to know why some women get really excited about shoes, I can't tell you. But regardless of whether women actually like shoes or not, the average woman has to have a fair amount of them, especially if they wear dresses.
I can wear the same brown Pumas all the damn time when I wear my everyday outfit with jeans, but the moment your lower wear (pants, dress, skirt, shorts, capris) changes, odds that your regular shoes will match are slim to none.
I mean, you can see something is wrong here, right guys?
You have to coordinate hemline with boot height; you have to make sure the styles match; and you have to make sure the colors don't look funny together. To cover all your bases, you usually need a brown, black and white pair of shoes in each style (pumps, flats, sneakers, low boots, and high boots). If you get any funky "cute" colors, they'll probably end up matching exactly one outfit.
Why Do Women Get so Upset About the Toilet Seat Thing?
A reasonable person only needs to fall into a toilet bowl once in order to hold a grudge about it. To avoid midnight toilet surprises, you want to agree on a default position, and one way to do that is logic. Men need the toilet seat down for droppings, which is, say, 33 percent of their bathroom visits. Women need it down for both, uh, procedures. So for a typical married couple, there's a 66 percent chance (133/200) the toilet seat needs to be down for any given visit. So if you look at you and your partner as a unit, where you both share the house and both of your needs matter, numbers seem to indicate that down is the best default position.
However, if you, as a man, are looking at your own needs alone, there's a 33 percent chance you'll need it down and a 66 percent chance you'll need it up, so it makes sense to leave it up by default. So deciding to go this way kind of says to the lady (intentionally or not) that she doesn't really factor into your decision. So if you put up a fight about it, you're basically saying that she isn't worth the two seconds it takes to flip a lid up and then down. My advice, keep the lid down.
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM. Portland, Oregon. January 8, 2014
Feeling Grief Means Being Alive: 7 Tips to Help One Year Later.
By ELISHA GOLDSTEIN, PH.D.
“Grief is a winding, nasty road that has no predictable course, and the best thing you can do as a friend is to show up for the ride. You cannot rush grief.” Angie Smith, mother who lost her son.
Here are 7 tips to help during this time:
In addition to these 7 tips for greiving one year later, more than anything treat yourself with love and kindness during this time. The grief will seem more acute during some times and more subtle during others. A year later, you’ll smile more and cry less, laugh more, and begin to feel better. Though you miss the person you lost and long to be with them, may you know deeply, “this too shall pass and you will see them again one day.”
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM - Portland, Oregon. December 11, 2013.
Top 10 Reasons KPAM Listeners Are happy Terry Boyd’s World Is back On the Radio! By Dr. Kelly J. Brennan
It’s been about seven weeks since Terry Boyd’s World on AM 860 KPAM went on hiatus and has been off the radio. During their hiatus I cannot tell you how many emails, Facebook postings, Twitter messages and comments from everyday people asking me, “When are Terry Boyd and Matt Wilcox coming back? I miss them” or “I can’t wait till Terry Boyd’s World is back, my day is off with them not on the air”.
Well, as many of you know, “THEY’RE BACK!” As of Monday - December 08, 2013, Terry Boyd’s World began its new time from 9:00am-12:00noon, Monday – Friday. So to mark this exciting occasion, I asked KPAM listeners to send me the one reason they are happy Terry, Matt and Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio. There were so many reasons that I received, like one from KPAM Listener Barbara Linhart who said it best, “It’s the great energy of the show and Terry makes you laugh and feel good!” With this in mind, here are the top 10 reasons KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio:
10.The number 10 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “I miss Byron Beck’s movie and celebrity reports on Portland!”
9.The number # 9 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “Dick Wright - The Coolest 82 year old on the Planet!”
8.The number # 8 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “Happy hour just got happier!”
7.The number # 7 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “Can’t wait to take on Giorgio and beat him in his Pop Culture game!”
6.The number # 6 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “Because Terry Boyd’s World feels like home – you love it when you’re listening and miss it when it’s not on!”
5.The number # 5 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “The heartbeat of Portland radio just started beating again!”
4. The number # 4 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “Can’t wait for all the regular segments again, my relationship needs HELP!!!!”
3.The number # 3 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “Matt and Terry, of course because they’re REALLLLL PEOPLE like us!!!”
2.The number # 2 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “Crazy Terry facts are here again!”
1.The number #1 reason KPAM listeners are happy that Terry Boyd’s World is back on the radio is “The Mark & Dave Show!”
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show, AM 860 KPAM – Portland, Oregon. December 11, 2013.
Top Ten Halloween costume predictions for 2013!
By The Atlanta Banana, October 2013
The top ten Halloween costume predictions for 2013 include ideas for both men and women. According to an Oct. 7 Paste report, the top ten Halloween costume ideas for this year will likely leave you laughing.
While some of these top ten Halloween costume 2013 picks are available online for a price, others you will have to be more creative with. Of course, the creative costume ideas will actually allow you to possibly save money and get a good deal while donning a cute and memorable costume this Halloween season.
The number 10 costume is the “Red Equal Sign”
Rememebr when the Human Rights Campaign's symbol for equality took over your social networks? Bring it back with a simple red and pink outfit for Halloween.
The number 9 costume is “Stefon”
2013 marked Bill Hader's exit from "Saturday Night Live" and with him went our favorite "Weekend Update" correspondent. Get the look by layering Ed Hardy Tees, wearing silver rings on both hands and constantly acting like you can't believe what you just said.
The number 8 costume is "What Does The Fox Say?" .
The most entertaining music video of 2013 has nothing to do with licking hammers or riding a wrecking ball but everything to do with dressing up like a fox who loves to dance.
The number 7 costume is Pope Francis.
Perhaps one of the most popular Catholic Popes in years, you can start with your traditional Pope garb, but finish with an LGBTQ-friendly twist.
The number 6 costume is Paula Deen the Racist.
Once you've got your grey wig, flowy blouse and Southern drawl down, it's up to you to decide how much social commentary you want to add.
The number 5 costume is Miley Cyrus at the 2013 VMAs.
There are several options to achieve this look. One is the infamous "Twerk" costume, which retailers can't seem to keep on shelves long enough, so don't expect to get a great deal on this look. You can get this look for less by donning a "Twerk" t-shirt and letting everybody's imagination fill in the rest.
Number 4 on the list is "Breaking Bad's" Walter White.
This costume actually should not set you back too much. You simply need a button down shirt, brown leather jacket, some spectacles, a beard, and the hat. Many of these things could be found in your own closet, borrowed, or purchased on the cheap at thrift stores.
At number 3, you will find Jamie Lannister from "Game of Thrones."
The most important element of this costume is the missing hand, which will be somewhat difficult to recreate, but if you are imaginative you should be able to figure out a way to lose your hand for the night. This is another costume that has the potential to be affordable as long as you are lucky in your thrift shop finds.
The number 2 hottest 2013 Halloween costume is Robin Thicke and his naked girls.
Interestingly, if you have an old Beetle Juice costume laying around, you can reuse this to become Thicke for 2013. Other ways to become this hot 2013 figure are to wear a snazzy suit with an unbuttoned shirt, aviator sunglasses, and surround yourself with nearly nude women who attend to your every need. Who wouldn't enjoy dressing up like Robin Thicke? (Hint, combine this with the Miley Cyrus "Twerk" costume to have a fun couple's costume this season).
Finally, the number 1 (and funniest) hot Halloween costume for 2013 is pregnant Kim Kardashian.
You likely remember Kim's unfortunate floral couch inspired Met Gala dress. This should be quite easy to recreate using thrift shop items, so you can have a funny costume on the cheap this Halloween.
There you have it, the top ten Halloween costume prediction for 2013. Which costume are you going to dress up as this year? Trick or treat!
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, October 09, 2013. Portland. Oregon.
A Real Man Responds: “Yes, We ARE Like Toddlers,” Five Lessons Women Can Learn About Men Through The Way They Raise Toddlers.By David Wygant
Last week,one of my colleagues wrote an article explaining that there’s a lot women can actually learn about men by observing toddlers.
That got me thinking: Are men really just giant babies? Should we be walking around wearing diapers instead of Levi’s? Should we be breast fed multiple times a day? The other day in my blogwe debated about how mature men really are.
Well, maybe not the diapers, but a lot of men have breast envy, so they certainly would love to be soothed by the boob. Let’s talk about five lessons women can learn about men through the way they raise toddlers.
Five lessons women can learn about men through the way they raise toddlers:
1. “I’m frustrated!”
When we get frustrated, whether it’s while driving, trying to fix the internet connection, not having our turn with the remote control, at some point we’ll want to use brute force to try to get things our way. When that happens, what we really want is be soothed, just like a little toddler. So the next time your man is having a toddler attack, walk over to him with a little love. Rub the back of his neck and head and tell him to calm down, everything’s going to be OK. Studies have shown that enough men will magically calm down with a woman’s touch.
2. “I want it, now!”
When men want something, they want it, and they want it now. Just like a toddler. Put a man in a hardware store, a sporting goods store, or a car dealership. All of a sudden, he sees the shiny tool kit or the brand new Mercedes and thinks to himself, I want that. Even if he can’t afford it, it’ll stay on his mind. Men are toy-obsessed. So just like a little toddler, you have to take him by the hand and tell them in order to get that car, that tool, that new sports gear, he needs to be a good boy and work a little harder so he can get it on his special day, maybe his birthday. Your man needs you to pull him away just like a little toddler so he doesn’t make a mistake and buy something he can’t afford.
3. “Getting him dressed”
Just like a toddler, a man sometimes needs a little help getting dressed. When your guy leaves the house for work and he hasn’t tucked the back of his shirt in, or he thinks he looks presentable going out to dinner in his old college sweatshirt and a ball cap, sometimes you need to lead him by the hand, lay out the clothes he needs to wear, and help him put them on just like a toddler. If a toddler dressed himself, he’d walk around with his shirt hanging over his head, a diaper half on, and his shoes flopping all over the place.
4. “I want my drinks!”
Just like a toddler needs milk, men need their drinks. Whether it’s beer, water, or Gatorade, when a man is craving a drink and doesn’t have it, he starts getting grumpy and irritable. The next time your man needs a drink and he’s getting irritated and short-tempered, put his favorite drink in a glass, hand it to him, and watch his eyes light up and his temperament calm down.
5. “Learning to clean up”
Leave a man alone in the house for a weekend, and 48 hours later you come home and it looks like a bomb went off. Leave a toddler alone in the room, and 30 minutes later it looks like a bomb went off. A man needs constant attention like a toddler. A man needs discipline. He needs to be told exactly how the house is supposed to look when you get back.
Before you leave for business or go away with the girls, lay down the ground rules and tell him, “Please leave the house in the same condition that you found it. Don’t leave beer, poker chips, or potato chips all over the coffee table. If you’re going to have your other toddler men over for a visit, make sure all of you pitch in at the end of the night to clean up.”
You have to teach your toddler man how to clean the room, because it is all about repetition. Practice by having him help you clean the room first, turn it into a song, make it fun, and give him a reward after the chores are done.
These are five lessons that you can learn from toddlers in order to keep your relationship running smoothly, to make your man feel loved and nurtured, and to have him feel good about doing the little things like cleaning up after himself. Because just like a toddler, a man loves praise from his woman. After he cleans up, looks at you proudly and says, “I cleaned the kitchen,” don’t tell him what he missed. Tell him what a great job he did first. Say, “You are so good at cleaning the kitchen, it is amazing. Next time, honey, make me even more proud of you by making sure that you get all the knives and forks into the dishwasher too.” Just like a toddler. Lots of praise, soothing voices, and you’ll find yourself with an amazing domesticated man.
David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. He offers his advice as a lead writer for Yahoo! Personals and across television segments, newspapers and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and E! Entertainment Television -- as well as on over 2,000 radio shows.
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, Wednesday, October 02, 2013. Portland. Oregon.
We all want to be happy. But we have preconceived notions or beliefs about what needs to happen in our lives before we can be happy. Maybe we need to get that dream job. Or we need to have a million dollars in the bank. Or maybe we need to have the body of our dreams. Or we need the perfect relationship in order to be happy.
The list goes on. Yes, these things may indeed make us happy. Or then again, they may not.
When we set goals, we also have the tendency, once we’ve achieved them, to replace them with new goals. So you may find that you still don’t feel happy after you’ve achieved that “big goal” because you’ve just replaced it with an even bigger goal that you now need to achieve before you can be “truly happy”.
But by doing this, we stack the odds against ourselves. And if we play this game in order to find our happiness, then there’s a good chance that we’ll spend the rest of our lives chasing down the dreams that may ‘one day’ make us happy.
What if I told you that you don’t need any of those things in order to be happy in your life and that you can be happy today? The key to happiness is learning how to be happy right now, while you work on achieving your goals, instead of waiting until you’ve achieved those goals to be happy.
Here are 6 simple tips that you can start applying today:
1. Practice Daily Gratitude
No matter how bad we think our problems are, you can almost guarantee that there’s someone out there with much bigger problems than us. You may have heard the saying “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet”. We need to be grateful for everything we have in our lives and practicing daily gratitude is a great way to train our minds to have an attitude of gratitude.
One technique for doing this is called “3 good things”, where every night, you simply write down three things that went well that day and casually reflect on why they happened. According to a study conducted by Seligman, Steen, Park and Peterson (2005), people who performed this daily exercise for a week, were happier and less depressed at the one-month follow up.
So start making your “3 good things” list today. Start a “gratitude journal.”
2. Be Present Both Mentally & Physically
Whatever you’re doing, make sure that both your mind and body are present. Don’t eat dinner with your family while you’re thinking about work. Don’t do work, while you’re thinking about what you’ll do this weekend. Always be present and let your mind focus 100% on what you’re doing.
If you’re having dinner with your spouse or partner, then try not to think about anything else but enjoying dinner with them. Even if you’re doing something as simple as drinking a glass of water, you can be present. Enjoy the moment and taste of the water as you sip it slowly. Try to find at least one situation every day where you can practice being present.
Simply start by focusing on your breathing. Focus, slow down and appreciate being in the moment. Remember, what you focus on you’ll get or become.
3. Stop Resisting What You Can’t Control
Stop resisting the things in your life that you can’t control and aren’t the way that you want them to be. Stop worrying about what other people do or say. Start accepting things for how they are, regardless of whether you think it’s right or wrong. Accept it as a fact.
Let’s say that you are frustrated because a work colleague isn’t doing what you think they should be doing. The more you think about that situation, the more frustrated you get. You give them feedback. Maybe you argue with them. But the situation doesn’t improve or maybe it gets even worse.
So you have a choice — you can keep resisting or you can accept the situation without judgement. You simply acknowledge it as a fact. There is no right or wrong. It’s just the current reality. When you do this, the resistance starts to melt away and the negative emotions inside your head and heart also start to disappear.
Identify one situation where you feel you have some resistance and simply accept that situation for what it is.
4) Avoid Negative People & Situations
Another cause of negative emotions and unhappiness are certain people or situations. You probably already know who those people are — they are the ones who seem to only see the negative side to every situation. They are often pessimistic, angry, critical and rarely have anything constructive to say. These people not only create unhappiness for themselves, but they also often drag down others around them by spreading this negative thinking ‘poison’.
If you want to be happy, you have to avoid these people and situations as much as possible. Unfortunately, that’s not always so easy, since these people are often our friends or family members. So if you can’t completely avoid these people, then it’s worth planning ahead and deciding how you’ll deal with them in future situations. The next time you find them being negative, you could either politely tell them that you’d prefer not to discuss that particular topic with them and change the subject. Or you could try to guide them into more positive thinking by asking them questions such as “how do you think you could solve that problem?”.
Don’t allow negative people or situations to also drag you down into unhappiness.
5) Accept 100% Responsibility For Your Life
If we want to be happy, then we have to stop blaming others for what happens in our lives. We need to stop seeing ourselves as victims. I have a family member who I love very much, but she is constantly blaming other people and situations for everything in her life that she’s not happy with. She sees herself as a victim and feels helpless about changing things.
In order to be happy, we have to take full responsibility for everything that happens in our life. When we take full responsibility, we take back control of our life and start to acknowledge that our thoughts and actions create the results in our life, not other people or situations. When we take back control of our life, we stop being victims. Instead we feel empowered to start creating a better life for ourselves.
Be honest with yourself, are you accepting full responsibility for what happens in your life?
6) Be of Service To Others.
One really powerful way to increase your happiness is to focus on helping others. You can give money to charity — but there are more fulfilling ways of helping others.
Instead of giving money, give your time. Get involved with a charity or donate a few hours to help with a local community project. Or just perform small random acts of kindness with no expectation of getting anything back e.g. help a struggling mother dealing with her kids and bags of groceries. Or buy a coffee for the person standing in line behind you.
According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, (a professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of The How of Happiness), research shows that almost any type of random act of kindness boosts happiness. So make a habit of performing at least one small random act of kindness every week or every day!.
So if you want to feel happier in the present moment, then start by choosing one of these 6 tips and take action today. At the same time, keep working on your goals, but don’t rely on them alone to make you happy. Choose to be happy right now. As self-help author and motivational speaker Tony Robbins says “there’s a huge difference between achieving to be happy and happily achieving it”.
Omer Khan is a husband, father and creator of the Relax Focus Enjoy blog. He’s passionate about personal productivity and helping people to create more time to do what they love. He lives with his family in the ‘sunny’ Seattle area. Pick up your free e-book “Recharge Your Life” when you visit Relax Focus Enjoy.
Research and edited by Dr. Kelly J. Brennan for Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, Portland Oregon. September 25, 2013.